What Are You Looking For In A Relationship (19 Things You Should)

What are you looking for in a relationship? What are the qualities you would want your partner to have? You should ask yourself these questions before you enter a new relationship

Even though these questions seem pretty easy and harmless, I’m sure they would catch most of us off guard. That’s exactly the reason why so many relationships fail these days.

This whole online dating, social media, and virtual life are leaving very bad consequences on our social lives. It all just messed up our priorities, and we have all forgotten what a healthy relationship should look like.

It has become so difficult to maintain a long-term relationship in these modern times because people are starting to lose touch with their real lives, and we have forgotten what should be our priorities in a romantic relationship

What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?

If someone would ask you right now, ‘What are you looking for in a relationship?’, what would your answer be?

Please don’t say true love or chemistry because it’s such a cliche. On the other hand, if you don’t have an answer to this question at all, you should immediately have a serious and deep conversation with yourself.

It’s especially important to have an answer to this question if you have a potential partner. If you leave this question unanswered, then your potential relationship is condemned to failure for sure.

I know that we all want to find the right person with whom we’ll be able to be ourselves. We all want to find our soulmate, the person who’ll accept us the way we are and stay with us no matter what.

However, before we even start looking for that right person, we have to define what the concept of a soulmate means to us. You have to determine and define what you are looking for in a relationship.

It’s truly important to define it because if you don’t do it on time, you can spend your entire life in a miserable relationship with the wrong person.

A lot of people think that this isn’t necessary at all because they believe that a person always knows when they meet their soulmate. That kind of thinking is a huge deal-breaker for maintaining a healthy and serious relationship with another person.

Once you dig deeper into your own heart, you’ll be able to tell what you are looking for in a relationship, which will definitely clear your path to your soulmate.

Also, this is precisely the purpose of first dates. It’s how we can meet our potential partners a little bit more and check out your love compatibility.

So, have a long and serious talk with yourself. Remember your past relationships. Try to remember what the reasons were as to why all those relationships ended. I’m sure it’ll help you figure out the answer to this very important question.

What To Look For In A Relationship: 19 Essential Things For A Healthy Relationship

I’m sure that most ‘nowadays-relationships’ fail because people don’t actually know what they want in a romantic relationship. Those things differ from person to person; however, here are the most important things and values you should look for in a relationship:

Emotional maturity

You need that type of relationship where both you and your partner won’t be afraid to communicate your feelings openly. You need a partner who is able to manage and control their own emotions.

If you want a serious relationship, then both sides need to have a good understanding of who they are. Both partners should be equally supportive and empathetic.

Being emotionally mature also means that you always take responsibility for your actions, and that you know how wrong it is to blame other people for your own failures. It also means that you own your mistakes and that you never run from them.

Emotional maturity will also help you set some healthy boundaries that are a must for a healthy and happy relationship. It’ll truly be a lot easier to maintain a great relationship with an emotionally mature person.

Being treated with respect

This is definitely something we should all look for in a romantic relationship. If you allow others to disrespect you, that will only show that you don’t respect yourself either.

Also, a relationship without mutual respect won’t succeed for sure. Your significant other needs to understand that you have different needs, interests, and perspectives over some things in life, and they need to respect all of them.

It’s so easy to tell someone you have respect for them, but acting with respect is what counts, and this is much more difficult. If you share mutual respect for each other, it’ll maintain your relationship health and you’ll be a very happy couple for sure.

Regular communication

This is also truly important for a healthy and happy relationship. Both partners need to be honest, direct, and upfront when something is bothering them in the relationship.

If your partner is the type of person who doesn’t have good communication skills, then you should try to make them more comfortable with you and make them open up to you.

One partner should never be guessing what’s happening with the other one. It’s very important to know how to express your emotions, both positive and negative, along with some other things that are bothering you, but in a healthy way. This means communicating about it and avoiding getting into unnecessary conflict.


Online dating has become very popular today. A lot of people are looking for their soulmate on Tinder or other social media.

Unfortunately, most of them post fake pics and information about themselves on those dating sites because they want to appear to have better compatibility with their potential partner. It’s a fact that a lot of people are faking their personalities on their dating profiles

Those dating apps and all of that virtual life allow people not to be honest about themselves, and that’s the main cause of so many broken relationships nowadays. Also, that’s a reason why those relationships tend to be more short-term

Honesty is definitely the number one quality you should look for in a romantic partner. If you catch your significant other in a lie too many times, it’s a clear red flag they don’t have serious and sincere intentions with you.

A partner who is also your best friend

If you want to have a successful relationship, it has to be based on friendship. You should look for a person who will not only be your lover, but your best friend also.

You need a person who’ll always be there for you; someone who’ll be your biggest fan and most reliable confidant. You should work on building a deep and strong emotional connection; the one only best friends have.

A great relationship is all about partnership. It’s about two people who help and support each other’s growth.


No matter how tough we are, we all need someone we can always count on. We need the type of relationship where we’ll be able to rely on our significant other no matter what.

Life is a very challenging journey. We will all have our ups and downs, and we simply need someone we’ll share it all with.

Just to be clear, we don’t have that other person who will complete us because we’re perfectly whole on our own.

We just need someone we’ll always be able to count on and to share good as well as bad moments with. Trust me, everything is so much easier and more beautiful when you have someone to share it with.

Getting through conflicts without unnecessary drama

You should look for someone who won’t be ruining your mental health by creating unnecessary drama. You need a partner who’ll always try to solve your conflicts and disagreements in a healthy and peaceful way.

All couples have some issues and disagreements, that’s a fact. However, for a healthy relationship, both partners need to find a way to stay calm during heated conversations.

You need to find someone with whom you’ll be able to compromise and find middle ground, someone with whom you’ll learn to solve all your conflicts in the best possible way.

You won’t always agree with your partner about every little thing; that’s why it’s important to find a person with whom you’ll carefully choose your battles… A person who will never allow your disagreements to harm your relationship.


The truth is that we all want to be seen and heard. We want to feel understood by our loved ones because it makes us feel loved, respected, and important.

The most beautiful feeling is when you have someone who understands you. Someone who understands even your silence… A person who understands even the most complex parts of your heart and soul. I swear it’s the most comfortable feeling in the world.

We can’t always explain ourselves, our thoughts, and our feelings to others. It becomes very draining over time, and we just choose to keep it all within ourselves. That’s why it’s important to look for understanding in a relationship; a person who’ll get you without even speaking a word.


If your potential partner already doesn’t show empathy towards you and some of your problems, then it’s a huge red flag that they simply don’t see your relationship going the way you see it going. The truth is that they probably don’t have serious intentions with you.

Being empathetic to each other is very important if you want to maintain a healthy relationship. Both sides should try to understand and relate to each other.

If you truly love someone, you simply can’t turn a blind eye to their suffering and problems. If your emotional bond is strong enough, you’ll simply feel your partner’s problems as your own and sympathize with their suffering.

Support and motivation

We need that one person who’ll always stand right behind us, supporting and motivating us to be better every single day.

If both partners support and help each other’s growth, it’ll have a very positive effect on their relationship’s growth. A supportive partner will help you achieve all your dreams and goals, along with achieving much more than you could ever achieve on your own.

Mutual support will benefit both partners and the relationship itself. Your relationship will hit some rough patches for sure, but with mutual support and understanding, you’ll be able to cope with those hard times.

A shelter in times of need

You should look for a relationship that will be your ‘safe place’; your shelter when storms hit your life. You should find a partner who’ll always stand right beside you, hold your hand, and tell you that those difficult moments will pass.

You need a partner who’ll never give up on your relationship; someone who won’t walk away from you when hard times come. Your significant other should simply be your biggest protector; your own superman or wonder woman.

With the right person, you’ll never feel alone because you’ll know that you have someone by your side who you can always count on and that really helps you face all the challenges that life puts in your path.

An ability to be vulnerable

We all want to be free to show our vulnerable side to the person we love. We hide our pain and struggles from everyone else, but we shouldn’t hide them from our significant other

You should simply look for someone who’ll know all your flaws and imperfections, and will still choose to embrace them all. Someone who’ll never criticize or judge you despite all of your negative traits and weaknesses.

I know that it can be pretty scary to show all those bad sides of yourself to your loved one, but the right person will embrace all those not-so-perfect sides of you and love you even stronger in spite of every flaw you may have.


A little appreciation is always the best way to ensure that your relationship stays healthy and successful. When a partner starts feeling that they’ve been taken for granted, it’s a very clear red flag for them that something is off with their relationship.

Mutual appreciation will foster the bond between partners, and it can also improve trust and respect in a relationship. Appreciating someone means that you value and respect them, which is a way of building a serious relationship with them.

Time for yourself

When you start a new relationship, it’s perfectly understandable that you’re enjoying spending time with your new partner and getting to know them.

However, as time goes on, you understand that you also need time for yourself. You need some alone time just to focus on the self-relationship. That’s also pretty normal, and actually, a healthy thing.

Just because you’re dating someone, it doesn’t mean that you should be doing everything together and spending 24/7 together. You’re two different human beings with completely different interests and it’s perfectly normal that you both want to have some alone time to dedicate to your own needs.

Simple acts of kindness

We all like to hear sweet words and expressions of love from our significant other. However, the fact is that pure words are never enough.

Love should be expressed and proven through actions. Words simply become meaningless if they aren’t backed up with actions.

Those simple acts of kindness will keep the spark in your relationship alive, and it’ll also make both partners feel loved, respected, and cherished.

Physical attraction and affection

It’s perfectly normal that you want to date someone you’re physically attracted to. However, you should never allow it to overshadow some other important qualities that you should be looking for in your romantic partner.

I agree that physical affection is a very important part of every relationship, but it’s definitely not the most essential one. As much as it’s important to connect with your partner physically, it’s also important to build an emotional connection with them.

That physical compatibility is an important element of a relationship, but even if you aren’t compatible with someone, it doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker for the future of your relationship.

Both you and your partner should learn to express and talk freely about your physical needs. You can make your relationship work even if all the odds are against you if you care enough for each other and want to put in the same amount of effort to make it work.

Someone who can always make you laugh

Humor is indeed the hottest and most compelling quality that a person can have. That’s why a sense of humor is one of the first traits you should look for in a romantic partner.

Life can indeed be pretty challenging sometimes, and there are so many peaks and valleys we all face every day. That’s why it’s very important to have that one person who can make you laugh at the end of the day.

That’s actually the whole point of love and romantic relationships; to have someone you’ll laugh with and someone who’ll try hard to make your life more beautiful and cheerful every single day.

The art of compromising

You should look for a partner who is aware of the importance of compromising for a healthy and happy relationship. You need to find a person who’ll try to solve all your differences by compromising on them.

If your potential partner or a person you’re in love with is never interested in finding the middle ground when you’re arguing about something, then it’s an obvious red flag that they don’t care for your feelings nor the future of your relationship at all.

Mutual understanding and willingness to compromise are keys to a great relationship… always try to remember this. Those are the elements that will strengthen your emotional bond and improve your relationship.

Simply, you should look for a soulmate relationship

Remember this… you should never look for the perfect person because that type of person doesn’t exist. You can only look for the right person; the person you’ll share great emotional and physical compatibility with

You should look for that type of relationship where the other side will try hard every day to show you how much they honestly love and care for you.

The bottom line is that you should be looking for your soulmate. But, before you go on a hunt for your forever person, you should really define what you are looking for in a relationship and what a soulmate means to you.

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