When it comes to relationships today, many people confuse love with being attached to another person. Although, the difference between those two is huge.
You can truly love someone without being attached to that person. However, sometimes love can lead to attachment and those mixed feelings can become so confusing.
First, you should know that true love will never make you feel anxious and depressed. That right kind of love – pure and true love – feels easy and it makes you feel good all the time.
True love is hard to find, but once you do, you’ll never let it go.
That’s why it’s so easy to mistake attachment for love. It also makes you feel good because your partner is fulfilling all your needs, but you’ll see that it’s not going to last.
So, how can you know if you feel true love or are just attached to your partner?
1. Love is unconditional, attachment is all about conditions
A person who truly loves you will always love you the same, no matter what. They will never leave, no matter how hard the situation is.
True love is loving someone without expecting anything in return. It’s when you love someone without any limitations and boundaries.
When you accept someone for who they are – even fall in love with their imperfections.
Well, it’s the only way love should feel. While on the other hand, attachment is quite the opposite. You set many boundaries for your partner. You have conditions they need to follow.
You start stalking them on social media because you don’t want them to communicate with other people and you start deciding they can and cannot hang out with.
Your relationship becomes toxic, with so many boundaries and limitations.
2. Love is selfless, attachment is selfish
When you truly love someone, you’ll do whatever it takes to make that person happy, because their happiness is more important to you than your own. Their needs and well-being become top priority.
When you’re attached to someone, however, everything revolves around you. You become dependent on your partner. And you’re in the relationship just to meet your own needs.
3. Love helps you grow, attachment won’t encourage your personal development
When someone truly loves you, they’ll support you in everything you do. They’ll inspire you to follow your dreams. They’ll constantly make you work on yourself to become the best version of yourself.
Being attached to someone makes you feel afraid of that person’s growth. You’re scared that it can make them rethink your relationship and that they might leave you.
4. Love is never-ending, attachment is temporary
True love is eternal. The right person makes you feel so good and all you can think about is wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person.
Even if you fight from time to time (which is perfectly normal), you know that nothing can separate you.
On the other hand, when we get emotionally attached to someone, it happens too easily, and that’s why it can’t last. You become bored with that relationship, and the feeling of attachment can fade surprisingly fast.
5. Love makes you a better person, attachment makes you shallow
When you’re in love, you become more understanding, gentle, and thoughtful. It’ll have a positive effect on your life.
You’ll have a more optimistic perspective. It’ll also motivate and inspire you to work on yourself.
On the flip side, you get attached to someone only because you see certain benefits from that relationship. It’s all about what your partner can do for you; you don’t care about their needs.
It’s shallow and it’s going to affect all your future relationships.
6. Love accepts you the way you are, attachment tries to change you
A person who truly loves you will love you just the way you are. They will embrace all your imperfections and love you even more. They will never try to change any part of you.
When you’re emotionally attached to someone, you’ll try to change all the parts of them that you don’t like.
You’ll try to change them in a way that will make you happy, because in the end, you being happy is all that matters.
7. Love is about making compromises, attachment is always putting your needs first
When you fall in love with someone, you learn to make compromises. It’s the foundation of every healthy relationship.
You want to make your partner happy and that means that you’ll have to swallow your pride sometimes and put your partner’s needs ahead of your own.
On the other hand, if you’re merely attached to someone, you want to control that person and that’s why you’re never prepared to find the middle ground on anything.
Being attached to someone can fill the void in your life, but it can never make you truly happy.
But love is the most special and powerful emotion that makes your life better in every possible way.