Love can be the greatest happiness, but it can cause great suffering if it is not returned. Tears, anger, lack of understanding, despair and helplessness are the order of the day after a breakup, especially when you have been left. Pretty much everyone has to go through a difficult time with lovesickness and separation pain at least once in their life. Even though it may seem so hopeless at times, there is always life afterwards! In the worst of times, you often withdraw and suffer silently, pondering memories and what-if thoughts. Most people make it out of the hole on their own, some take longer than others. Some have relapses more often, while others simply repress the pain and lock it away. However, processing is the best way to cope with it, because if you eat something into yourself, you will have to process it later in life. Unprocessed pain will come up again and again until you finally face it and have learned to deal with it. Below you will learn more about the 5 types of love heart and get tips to deal with it.
The strong guy
From the outside, it looks like he or she is in control of the situation, but your closest friends know that the inside is actually quite different. The strong guy processes his feelings and grief for himself and in the closest circle of his loved ones. However, to show externally that he is going through a difficult time and to hiss at everyone who does not suit him, he thinks wrong. As a realist, he knows that it will pass, even if the coming time is not easy. He allows his grief and tries to let life go on along the way. The show must go on!
The suffering guy
It is very difficult for this guy to deal with the situation, he is often overwhelmed by his grief even in everyday situations and can not believe that it has come to this. He now needs a lot of support and understanding from his fellow human beings. Sometimes a change in type also helps reinvent yourself and keep going.
The angry guy
The lack of understanding of the injustice of the situation and the course of the breakup lead to one thing for this guy: anger. This can either paralyze it or make it productive and drive it. At some point the next phase will follow and he can begin to finish the matter. First of all, however, he falls victim to the feeling that the love previously felt is contrary to it. He feels hurt in his pride and is very sensitive to the insult. If he is not careful, he can get lost in it and in extreme cases even try to make life difficult for the formerly loved one. However, this can and must never be the way!
The accepting type
People of this type often see the big picture and are able to step back from the situation. They recognize that it does not lead to anything and will not make them happy in the long term to want to be with a person who does not suit them or cannot imagine a future together. Nevertheless, it is not easy for this type to deal with the situation and the pain felt. He also takes his time to process what has happened and is therefore no less hurt. However, he is usually able to deal with it more calmly and distantly and to accept the situation as it is.
The repressing guy
There are these people who don’t seem to need a break after a breakup. With whom it goes straight in life. There can be two reasons for this: firstly, the end of the relationship can have been extremely liberating, so that they are actually doing better overall, or it indicates that they want to suppress the pain or not at all and want to let go of it. That the second option is not a good choice will become apparent at the latest when the events catch up with them, for example when meeting the ex and his new partner. It also takes much longer to process these feelings and experiences. And, even if it is difficult to admit it, it is a lost lifetime that could certainly be used much better.
Time heals all wounds, but scars remain.
Heartache can have a variety of causes, be it a separation, an unrequited love, simply no luck finding a partner, or problems in an existing relationship. All of these circumstances hurt. But everyone suffers and processes something differently depending on the situation and experience. The time span is relative, because an unfulfilled love can be as painful as a failed marriage. What is of course added are the external circumstances. If there is an amicable separation and it takes place quietly and respectfully, it can still be extremely painful to deal with the accompanying circumstances, for example the dissolution of the shared apartment or the changed situation with regard to mutual friends and activities. In the same way, a clear cut can be helpful for some and a catastrophe for others. So it’s a matter of how you deal with a breakup. As a friend of a person concerned, it is important to signal their serious willingness to be there for the friend and also to talk about the thoughts that sometimes circle around. Distraction can also be good for the injured friend. Regardless of whether that means going out for a beer or coffee together, taking a walk in the fresh air or planning a visit to the zoo. It is important that the friend changes his mind and has fun again. Help him take a new path and draw something positive out of the crisis. Phrases like “Other mothers have beautiful sons” may be meant nice and funny, however, all other than helpful. However, an honest, in-depth conversation in which you feel understood and feel like you’ve made a step forward really helps. Realizing that happiness does not depend on this one person, or generally not on another person, is the key to overcoming heartache. It is also the way to a happy life with the person who accompanies every person from the first to the last day of life –yourself . A separation or change phase is always an opportunity for a new start , but many people only see this afterwards. After all, who suspects beforehand that what initially looked like an absolute disaster can turn out to be the cornerstone of a new direction in life, such as professional independence, a trip around the world or getting to know even greater love.
Your own happiness does not depend on another person.
But there is also the possibility that fainting and pain dominate life and there is apparently no way out of the situation. The future seems pointless without the loved one and it is difficult to regain a foothold and carry on in everyday life. When someone withdraws, it is generally okay, it always takes time alone and calm to think and process. However, if this retreat goes so far that someone isolates themselves and no longer takes part in social life for weeks, blocks calls or even reports back at work, a limit has been exceeded. Then the friend urgently needs help. When you realize that you can’t get through to it yourself and are seriously worried, it is okay to consult with relatives and closest friends and, if necessary, even get medical advice. In rare cases, the loss of a partner can lead to a serious life crisis that the abandoned cannot cope with. Then it makes perfect sense to get help.