TOGETHERNESS: BALANCE AND DISTANCE IN BALANCE

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Most people long for love and togetherness. Being in love is a wonderful feeling. Newly in love seek intensive closeness and want to spend as much time as possible with their partner. This closeness is important so that love can develop at all. In a longer partnership, however, the issue of “closeness and distance” comes into play sooner or later, because finding the right mix here is one of the greatest challenges in a relationship.

Togetherness as a basis

One of the most important foundations within a relationship is togetherness: undivided attention for the partner, time that is reserved only for love. During this time, other things like phone calls, reading emails and newspapers, and watching TV shouldn’t matter. Enjoying undisturbed togetherness is one of the most beautiful experiences in love. The partner is thus shown how valuable he and the time spent together are. If two lovers take enough time for togetherness, there is always a feeling of connection that can otherwise easily be lost in hectic everyday life.

Have intimate conversations, make eye contact and engage with your partner. This attention is of great importance as a source of strength for everyday life. Show your partner how important he is to you right now.

Togetherness also includes joint ventures or living out common interests as a couple. Spending time together pleasantly creates a feeling of togetherness and a treasure of memories that helps to survive times of crisis in the relationship. Togetherness means thinking in the “we”, but sometimes means a “renunciation of love” – ​​a great challenge in times when only the ego seems to count.

How much distance is good for togetherness?

Distance means distance, to be separated, even if only temporarily, time to live out individual interests. Many people are uncomfortable with the idea of ​​distance in a partnership, since we all carry within us the need for all-encompassing love in which everything can be shared. But this is exactly what can cause dissatisfaction because love lacks the air to breathe. There are people for whom it is fulfilling to spend most of the day together with their partner and who need little time for themselves. For others, however, such a high level of togetherness in the partnership triggers fears and uneasiness and the desire for more distance, which is needed to act out one’s own interests and freedom. If these interests cannot be lived out, one partner or both can feel that togetherness means sacrificing oneself for the other. The resulting discomfort negatively affects the relationship and conveys the feeling of no longer existing as an individual, but only as a couple. The conflict between closeness and distance is one of the basic conflicts with which lovers are confronted in a partnership. If you can balance these different needs, it can be a fulfilling and enriching experience in love. The balance between closeness and distance is certainly a secret of a successful partnership. The resulting discomfort negatively affects the relationship and conveys the feeling of no longer existing as an individual, but only as a couple. The conflict between closeness and distance is one of the basic conflicts with which lovers are confronted in a partnership. If you can balance these different needs, it can be a fulfilling and enriching experience in love. The balance between closeness and distance is certainly a secret of a successful partnership. The resulting discomfort negatively affects the relationship and conveys the feeling of no longer existing as an individual, but only as a couple. The conflict between closeness and distance is one of the basic conflicts with which lovers are confronted in a partnership. If you can balance these different needs, it can be a fulfilling and enriching experience in love. The balance between closeness and distance is certainly a secret of a successful partnership. it can be a fulfilling and enriching experience in love. The balance between closeness and distance is certainly a secret of a successful partnership. it can be a fulfilling and enriching experience in love. The balance between closeness and distance is certainly a secret of a successful partnership.

Couples who feel overwhelmed by too much closeness and already believe in the failure of their relationship often have the paradoxical experience that times of involuntary separation of their love are good and everyday problems suddenly become less important. Some even see spatial distance between lovers as generally conducive to love – one of the reasons why a long-distance relationship can even work.

Togetherness means closeness and distance in balance

The secret of a fulfilling relationship is therefore a successful mix between closeness and distance. How can this balance be struck between two conflicting needs? In bookstores there are innumerable guides that deal with the problem of proximity-distance – but obviously also do not provide satisfactory answers.

Each couple has to find the right amount of closeness and distance individually and see how much togetherness they need. What is perceived as good, correct and sufficient is very different individually. There are couples who want to share with each other almost every minute of the day and see this as the source of their happiness. Other Parre, however, see it as extremely enriching and conducive to love and eroticism, not to have a common everyday life, because this is the number 1 love killer for them. People with an intense need for closeness will hardly feel comfortable with a partner who needs a lot of space. And a partner who attaches great importance to life of his own quickly gets tired of a relationship in which all the time in the world would like to be shared with him.

For this balanced mix of closeness and distance to succeed, it is important that the needs of the two partners fit together. Only when both have the feeling that their needs are met, togetherness develops and the feeling of deep love can grow. Therefore, when searching for a partner, it is important to make sure that everyone involved has similar ideas about a relationship and can share these important areas with each other. Togetherness has no temporal component, but rather says something about the quality of the time spent in a partnership. Perhaps the following quote expresses something that is important in a successful relationship.

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