You have a hard time believing love will last, even when things are going incredibly well. It’s not that you don’t feel it, though you like to pretend you don’t. You find yourself wanting to say it because you believe in authenticity. However, you find yourself biting your tongue because you don’t like admitting how invested you are in something unless you’re sure it won’t be a waste of your time. You’re almost always expecting things to fall apart, so you don’t know if you should even bother.
You know yourself well, and you know whenever you’re falling in love with someone. Though you aren’t one to sugar coat things, you also have a picture in your head of how this conversation goes- and it has to be perfect. You want to make sure the timing is right, that you both are in the same place, and that there aren’t any major red flags that could change your mind. You find yourself over-analyzing and waiting for the right moment to finally take that next step.
Many would assume that your passionate and romantic nature would mean this would give you no trouble at all, but there is always more than meets the eye when it comes to you. Though you may have all sorts of feeling thrashing around in your chest, you tend to keep your guard up when you’re with people. You may learn everything about them and still not let them know much about you. Saying you love someone, whether initiating it or responding, shows serious vulnerability- something you have a hard time expressing. Even if you genuinely want to say those three words, you’ll still find yourself wrestling with being so open with another person.
You’re not used to feeling so strongly towards other people like this, and while it makes you a little nervous, that isn’t necessarily what is holding you back. You are very much someone accustomed to their rhythm and need for freedom, so even when things are going great with someone, you often find yourself questioning if taking that next step is worth it. Saying you love someone is no small thing, and not something to be tossed around- you know it carries some weight. You have to honestly believe it’s worth it before you’re willing to let those words come out of your mouth- and it can be challenging to do even then