If you suspect your partner of going your own way, you shouldn’t spy on him. We show you ways how you can get the information you want.

Many know the situation: You have a bad feeling that your partner is hiding something important. Since he leaves his cell phone lying around openly, one is tempted to see if there is anything that could confirm the suspicion. But of course you get into a conflict of conscience, because spying on the partner is simply not possible. After all, trust is the basis of a good relationship and spying is a breach of trust!

What is the best way to deal with your presumption?

It is best to speak to your partner carefully about your suspicions. But try to do it as diplomatically as possible. Do not confront him with facts or suspicions or even allegations. Instead, explain to him how you feel and where you think that feeling comes from.

Often a problem can be solved by having your partner give you an explanation for his behavior, which dispels your doubts.

If you want or need to confront him directly with a specific suspicion, announce to him that you have to ask him an important question. Tell him that you will only ask him this question once and believe the answer. Emphasize the importance of trust and honesty in your partnership and underline the weight that you want to attach to his answer.

If there are any signs of mistrust, watch your partner and their behavior very closely. For example, if you are not sure whether he is cheating, pay attention to the changes in his behavior. Some partners become calmer, less talkative, withdraw or suddenly need more freedom. There may or may not be an affair behind it, but your attention is aroused. Perhaps he has bought a new perfume, pays more attention to his appearance and works disproportionately longer than usual.

Talk to him openly about these changes and if he then reacts loosely and amused about your supposed jealousy, you can calm down again. However, caution is advised when looking for excuses and trying to speak out only reinforces the impression that something is “in the bush”.

In this case, you should consider whether and how you can continue your partnership. Because you don’t necessarily need solid evidence if you know your trust is crumbling.

In any case, we wish you that this does not happen.

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