If I asked you why are you with him, you would probably answer because you love him, right? But the much better question would be – why do you love him, and what made you fall in love with him?
Would you be able to answer that? Would you struggle with the answer or offer me some of those boring, classic explanations…
Because he’s a good man, because he’s good to me, blah, blah, blah?
We can like and even fall in love with someone for no reason, but there are always certain things that make us stay in love with that person.
Love has the power to blind us completely. We’re unable to see that person for who they truly are. We idealize them and make a perfect picture of them in our heads.
Unfortunately, we fall in love with that picture of them we’ve made, not with who they really are.
Are you just trying to fill a void you have in your life?
Sometimes, we all feel like there is a huge gap in our life. We feel like someone or something is missing, and unfortunately, that leads us to make some hasty decisions to fill that void.
One of these decisions is allowing someone to enter your life and becoming infatuated with them. You’re happy because you have someone to spend your time with.
You’re happy because there’s finally another person on the other side of the bed.
Even though you may think you love him, you don’t. You just fell in love with the idea of having someone to finally fill the void in your life and to give you something that was missing for so long.
Do you accept him for who he really is?
If you’ve been dating him for a while, then you’ve had time to acknowledge his flaws. Do you still accept him with all of his flaws and imperfections?
Have you ever tried to change those not so perfect parts of him? If you have, I’m sorry, but I have to be honest and tell you there is no true love there.
When you honestly love someone, you accept them for everything that they are. You accept and cherish everything they bring to the relationship.
True love is all about accepting someone entirely, not trying to change them.
Are you jealous of other happy couples?
If you’re a little bit envious of other happy couples around you, then that’s a sign that something is missing in your own relationship.
You can’t be jealous of other couples if you’re satisfied with your relationship. Well, you can, but that would only mean you’re a deeply insecure and unhappy person.
Is there too much drama in your relationship?
Love is sometimes complicated. Relationships can be challenging. I fully agree with all of that.
There is no such thing as a completely drama-free relationship, but there is always a balance in everything when the love is real and honest.
If there is too much drama in your relationship, then that means there is not enough love. Your relationship should energize you, not emotionally drain you every day.
Do you feel trapped?
Are you afraid of loneliness? Don’t be shy to admit it because we all are. God created us as social creatures, and we all crave for someone we’ll be able to walk through life with.
However, don’t allow that fear to control your feelings. Don’t try to convince yourself you love someone just because you’re afraid to leave them, because you’re scared of being alone.
Sooner or later, if you don’t honestly love them, the relationship will fail. If you allow yourself to be stuck with him, you might miss the right one. You might miss true love.
Lower your expectations
I’m serious. Forget all those things you want from your relationship and your boyfriend too.
Lower all of your expectations, even the healthy, realistic ones. Then, wait and see what happens.
It’ll allow you to have a more realistic perspective on your relationship. You’ll know exactly where you stand in your relationship.
You’ll be able to see yourself with that man in the distant future. You’ll finally realize whether you’re in love with him or just the idea you had of him in your mind all this time.
Just try to listen to your gut
If you can’t get rid of the feeling that something is off, it’s probably because something is indeed wrong in your relationship.
Your inner voice is just trying to warn you, and you should stop trying to silence it. If everything is okay, you should be enjoying your love bubble without any of these warning signs and voices around you.
Unfortunately, so often, people do mistake infatuation for love. Don’t let your fears stop you from being honest with yourself.
Admit the truth to yourself because you and especially your pure, kind heart deserve it.