ALTRUISM IN A RELATIONSHIP

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Closeup shot of two unrecognizable people holding hands in comfort

By definition, altruism is self-sacrifice in favor of another person, meaning the constant giving without expecting anything in return. At first glance this may sound like a perfect partner, but it is not that simple …

Unconditional love

If our partner tells us every day how much he loves us, does not tire of assuring our friends again and again, emphasizing our positive qualities and showing us unconditional love, then you should actually think you have arrived in seventh heaven. If he still cooks for us, is always considerate and courteous, invites and surprises us, doesn’t let us go home alone in the dark in the evening and reports regularly without being asked, you get almost suspicious, because it’s too good to be true his. All of this will come naturally to you at some point because it has become a habit.

The danger lurks somewhere else

At this point, few will be surprised that this behavior usually does not last beyond the familiarization phase. But if it does, most of them will get to the point where they question what they deserve. However, the danger lurks somewhere else. Because if you get used to the fact that such behavior is standard, you will always notice if it does not happen. You have already noticed that such behavior is not “normal” while reading. So over time you no longer show yourself recognizable for the treatment received, but accept it gratefully, but only notice the absence of the usual behavior.

The altruist defines himself through his partner

Time to take a closer look at the nature of the altruist. He is the opposite of a narcissist. That’s good, you might think. The altruist, however, defines himself through the partner. He is ready for complete abandonment, often without even realizing it. While the narcissist wants to raise himself, the altruist will raise his partner, put his own self back, neglect it completely in the worst case and merge with the partner (not just physically). Such a partner will never see the other person as he really is, because he exaggerates him. He neglects everything, constricts the loved one (initially unnoticed) and puts him in a golden cage. In return, he expects gratitude that drives him. Since the altruist identifies with the relationship,shake his worldview so that he will try to correct these disturbances immediately. Only rarely do both partners make it out of such a clearly unhealthy relationship, which definitely does not take place at eye level. Anyone who still wants to hold on to the relationship and could keep love up to this point should consider using a psychologist or couple therapist.

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