We’ve said it a million times. The holy grail of every healthy and successful relationship is… What?
Open and honest communication is the foundation of any relationship’s well-being. Still, there are some things that a person who isn’t committed to you simply won’t talk about.
If he avoids talking to you about any of these five topics, I’m sad to tell you that he’s probably not the right person for you.
1. Your emotional needs
If he doesn’t care about what your emotional needs are, there’s no way he’s going to fulfill them.
Every person has a unique way they need to be loved that makes them feel secure and taken care of.
Your partner should be open to listening about what it is that makes you feel emotionally satisfied so he can alter the way he’s treating you accordingly.
There’s no point in being in a relationship with him if he doesn’t make you feel safe to be as vulnerable as you are and want to be in front of him.
A guy who makes you feel like your needs are irrelevant or thinks of you as too needy for wanting your emotions to be taken into the account is probably a selfish narcissist. It’s time for you to let him go.
2. Plans for the future of your relationship
It’s important to enjoy the moment, but being in a relationship with someone means that you’d like to spend a whole lot of time with them (do I hear forever?).
This means you’re probably excited to plan your future together.
If your partner isn’t willing to talk to you about what he sees in the future for the two of you, it usually means he isn’t willing to think so far ahead, because by then he’ll be long gone.
If planning for the future with you seems like a waste of time to your boyfriend, he probably doesn’t see himself in it at all.
3. Your insecurities, fears and negative emotions
Your loved one is supposed to be your safe harbor. You should be able to share your biggest insecurities with him, and he should help you grow stronger by listening to you and supporting you.
Your fears and problems shouldn’t bore him but bother him – he should be the one to help you get through them by creating a safe environment in which you can share whatever is bugging you.
If your boyfriend doesn’t want to listen to you talking about the problems you’re facing or fears you have, he’s definitely not the one for you.
If he wants to be with you when you’re at your best but isn’t willing to deal with you at your worst, he has to go. Leave him.
Everything about you makes you who you are – both the good and the bad. The right man will know that and love you even more for trusting him and choosing to share your problems with him.
4. Your past relationships
Your past has had a great impact on who you are today. Of course, he doesn’t need to know every little detail of how your life with your ex looked like, but he should be interested in your relationship history.
This is not something to be talked about all the time, but at one point the discussion is bound to happen.
What you’ve been through (love wise) should concern him and if he’s in love with you, he’ll probably want to know as much as he can.
A joke about your ex on his behalf is okay, but if he goes overly jealous or even angry when you mention your past relationships, you should stay away from him.
5. Your individuality
If your boyfriend doesn’t want to accept that you had a life before him and plan on having a life now that he’s around, he isn’t a keeper.
It’s important to talk about areas of life that don’t necessarily include your partner. Also, it’s important to discuss boundaries you need the other person to respect when it comes to your personal matters.
Just because two people are in a relationship, no matter how committed they are to one another, doesn’t mean that they get to control other aspects of each other’s lives.
Still, it’s incredibly important that he cares about what’s happening to you at work, in your friendships, or in any other sphere of your life that doesn’t include him.
Also, if he’s not willing to share what’s he’s up to when you’re not around, that’s your red flag right there.
Good luck, girls! And remember, no matter how uncomfortable it may get to share something, communication is the key to healing and acceptance.